I scratched the back of my neck, again and again. The light of circle K logo shines bright in front of me. Standing with a thin slippers given by the hotel, waiting for my wine to come. I mistakenly set the destination to the next hotel, so I need to wait for the driver to go pass my hotel.

It feels like a thousand age waiting there. I wanted to scream and just trash everything that I see. My mind splits into two, one screaming from out of its lung, slowly bending knees and crying in the pavement. Scratching its nails to the pavement until it bleeds. Over and over. The other, standing still waiting for the wine.

I know I'll spent this day on my room. Drinking myself to the limit, hoping it could give me a small pleasure of sleep. I understand alcohol is not the answer, but I forgot to bring my meds, and alcohol is the closest thing that I have within my range to calms me down. At this time, I wish there's someone I can depend on.

Repeating Cool Kids - Kayan while chilling my wine, trying to focus on this writing so I wouldn't do something stupid that I would regret. It feels like someone is banging the door inside my head. Its banging hard I can feel it in my head. Asking me to do something. Easing the pain because this is tiring. It's exhausting. I don't even care about grammar or anything again. Focusing my mind into the wine and only wine.
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